I've Come to a Decision

I have. I thought about all of the recent posts I've put on here.
Angry. Depressed. Cryptic Sentences.
It's my past.
And it's not happy. So. I thought about erasing them all.
Then I realized...
But thats not how it works.
Once something happens, its there. It's left its mark on you, visable or not. Its part of you.
Just because I earse all of those posts, nothing changes.
It doesnt change a thing.
Instead I'm just done.
I'm done with this blog for a long time.
I dont beleive I'll be missed in the blogging world really, I get very few comments, that, by the way, has nothing to do with the end of this blog though.
I feel like I need to stop.
So here on my 200th post, I resign.

Wonder Full

Sometimes she wonders if it's wrong to like things that other people say she shouldn't.
Sometimes she wonders if it's bad that she likes the emotions others hate to feel.
Sometimes she wonders if it's not good that the person she is and likes isn't right.

So, there are a few things that really bother me.
I guess you could call it one thing if you want, but its one thing with many things woven into it. It's this place that used to be my favorite escape, from school, family, and stress. It was only once a week, yeah, but I'd look forward to it like nobodys buisness. Drama free, stress free, I felt like I could be myself there.
Funny how things change, isn't it? Sometimes I'm not even sure why I show up anymore. There's almost as much drama there as there is in my class (and please, just trust me, that's saying alot.) now. People try and get into other peoples buisness, people try to fix people when they have no right too, people go and boss people around... and frankly, I'm sick of it all.
I wish people would just try and get over themselves and get back to the core of what this used to be. Get back to who they used to be.
So yeah, that's whats been going on lately.
Sorry if I offended anyone. (Only I'm not. Sometimes it's nessacary.)

:)

Open doors
And closed minds
They’re what keep me crying
Don’t push me
Wont do any good
It’s almost over anyhow
So stop making such a fuss
I give up

Is it just me?
Cuz its hard to talk now
Close your eyes
Its over.
Isn’t it?
There cant be more
Can there?
Stop.
Stop.
Wait a minute
There’s something going on here
And I need to end it
End it
Stop stop stop it.

Shhhhh.
I think were okay now
I think its fine.
We’ll get through this
Nothing nothing nothing
Nothing-ness surrounds us like a cape
Close your eyes
Say goodnight
We need to put an end to it.

There’s my enemy
And im not going down without a fight
No more second chances
This ends tonight
Now.



Haha, I randomly typed this in Study, so it would look like I was working..
Interpert it however you will :)

starcrossed...

A Poem; Written in English Class. [Comment Please]

She sees the world only through the curtain of her bangs
A curtain hiding her eyes, and her true expression
The hats she always wears
Are not allowed here, at school,
So she had her hair cut
Chopped and thinned and shortened.
And she the bangs like a block,
A barricade between her and the world she hates.
What she now sees is always tainted by the thin strips brown,
Falling in front of her eyes.
Occasionally, she pulls them apart
With hands clothed in black,
To show a few her eyes;
A select few get to see the world held inside her eyes.
They look into them and see;
She knows too much.
She understands more than one her age does.
Everyone around her believes
She thinks she’s better than them.
Think she’s had a pedestal built
Just so she can look down upon them
When really all she’s done is never purchased
The rose colored glasses.
Hadn’t ever tainted her views with them
She looked at the world, and took it in as it was.
But now she knows too much
And she doesn’t want to know anymore.
She will not taint her vision to one of perfection
But she will block it all out.
Hidden from it all,
Behind her bangs.

Just Thought I'd Clear Something Up

For those of you who like to use the 'Don't you want to get into a good college?' argument to try to get e to do better in school.
At this moment in my life, college is not in my near future plans.
Yeah, you heard me right. I'm not going to college.

Why

...Is nothing POST worthy?
...Is school so boring?
...Haven't I been to YG in a month?
...Why am I so bored?
...Why am I posting this at all?

You know how some people reach that point of 'not caring'?
I've offically past that. It's way back there.
Sometimes I feel like my soul's going to explode for the whole world to see.
All of me plastered everywhere.


But I'm also feeling like deleting this blog.

Guess what?

Time for a real post.
I know, this is a big shock.
I've done nothing but post random, splashes of words from my mind the past few...months.
But, I feel...like writing a post. A real one. (AKA...I was hopped up on 2 glasses of coke, and 3 of pepsi...but just had a major crash and doesnt want to sleep just yet.)
Okay, well, now that we got that settled...
What should I actually post about?
Uhm...the weather? No...thats...very very dull.
What I ate today? Where did that idea even come from? No way.
Okay, well, how's this...comment...and I promise a real post.
When I think up some words...and topics...and some letters.
Yeah.
Sound good?
Peace.

Enrichment

I'm getting really sick of everything trying to 'enrich' me. Like I'm some type of fruit juice. Some kind of energy drink. I'm getting really sick of everything trying to make me a 'well rounded' aka BETTER person. Is it really important that I read Shakespeare? How will that make me a better person? (Nothing against him btw, I just think I should have the option of reading him. Not an order.) No...he really wont. There are so many things like that. Can't I just enjoy things?

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

Everytime I read a book...a good book, the type the put you right smack in the middle of whats happening, and it's up to you to find your way around, when I read a book like that...I feel as if I know, really know, what I want to 'be' when I grow up. I will have novels with my name imprinted on the spine resting on all bookstore shelves. I'm not saying I will have books up there because I'm an amazing writer (because I'm not yet), I'm saying it because it's what I want. And I will acheive it no doubt.